What to do about a stalker ex
You meet someone. You fall for them. A relationship ensues. Then... something happens. Maybe one outgrows the other. Maybe a difference of life goals. Maybe the passion waned and it was just time to call it quits before either (or both) were disappointed in the long run. Whatever the case, it resulted in a break-up... and in a normal world (with functional people) that—as they say—would be [the proverbial] that.
However, perhaps one was slightly possessive and a bit on the unbalanced — which is a nice way of saying they were a controlling, crazy, looney, asshole, psycho-fucking-NUTCASE that FINALLY showed their true colors and THAT'S the reason the relationship broke up in the first place. The problem: They won't let go.
They vacillate between two modes of behavior: 1) "Baby, I'm SO sorry. I know I screwed up, but you have to give me another chance. I can make it right this time." (Riiiiight... because you didn't break up with them 18 times before and fall for this line of crap.) 2) "You think I'm letting you go? Not. A. Chance. You might have broken up with me, but I did NOT break up with you. We're still together. Don't even THINK about being with anyone else." The main issue: They say either (and sometimes both) of these statements all the time: 4am—sometimes sober, sometimes drunk—at your job, at your doorstep, at your car at the mall (because they followed you from your three previous errands and "...just HAD to talk to you"), or in extreme cases—at the foot of your bed, in the morning... when they don't live with you anymore.
Crazy psycho whack-a-doos with a colossal lack of self control, an inability to recognize boundaries, and a supreme mastery of denial. What. The. Bloody. Hell? Are they just a few sandwiches short of a picnic? Did they originate from the shallow end of the gene pool? Maybe. Maybe not... but whatever the case, they just can't let go of you.
Not that there is any way to excuse their crazy (sometimes scary, sometimes violent) behavior... but there is a sad truth to this: They are more miserable than you. They can't let go because (in many cases) they lack a Self, a sense of self-worth, and a healthy level of self-esteem. As such, they feel they need yours to survive... they will seemingly stop at nothing to get it.
You meet someone. You fall for them. A relationship ensues. Then... something happens. Maybe one outgrows the other. Maybe a difference of life goals. Maybe the passion waned and it was just time to call it quits before either (or both) were disappointed in the long run. Whatever the case, it resulted in a break-up... and in a normal world (with functional people) that—as they say—would be [the proverbial] that.
However, perhaps one was slightly possessive and a bit on the unbalanced — which is a nice way of saying they were a controlling, crazy, looney, asshole, psycho-fucking-NUTCASE that FINALLY showed their true colors and THAT'S the reason the relationship broke up in the first place. The problem: They won't let go.
They vacillate between two modes of behavior: 1) "Baby, I'm SO sorry. I know I screwed up, but you have to give me another chance. I can make it right this time." (Riiiiight... because you didn't break up with them 18 times before and fall for this line of crap.) 2) "You think I'm letting you go? Not. A. Chance. You might have broken up with me, but I did NOT break up with you. We're still together. Don't even THINK about being with anyone else." The main issue: They say either (and sometimes both) of these statements all the time: 4am—sometimes sober, sometimes drunk—at your job, at your doorstep, at your car at the mall (because they followed you from your three previous errands and "...just HAD to talk to you"), or in extreme cases—at the foot of your bed, in the morning... when they don't live with you anymore.
Crazy psycho whack-a-doos with a colossal lack of self control, an inability to recognize boundaries, and a supreme mastery of denial. What. The. Bloody. Hell? Are they just a few sandwiches short of a picnic? Did they originate from the shallow end of the gene pool? Maybe. Maybe not... but whatever the case, they just can't let go of you.
Not that there is any way to excuse their crazy (sometimes scary, sometimes violent) behavior... but there is a sad truth to this: They are more miserable than you. They can't let go because (in many cases) they lack a Self, a sense of self-worth, and a healthy level of self-esteem. As such, they feel they need yours to survive... they will seemingly stop at nothing to get it.
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